Thursday, September 14, 2017

That proud moment...

...when your work is chosen to showcase an international group exhibition.


My pikkie's on the left.

See the exhibition online here:
[link opens in new tab/window]

Tuesday, September 5, 2017

About three films and my lack of English

Saw Terry Gilliam's BRAZIL at an arty cinema last night - not seen it on the big screen before.
It is astonishing. An absolute cinematic masterpiece. Just brilliant.

I first saw it on TV back in 87 or so, when my English was practically super-limited/ non-existent. And yet - how captivating it was despite the confusion (and some people who speak fluent English find the film confusing anyway)!!!

And it occurred to me that 3 of my favourite films ever - I saw as a boy with little to no English: BRAZIL, David Lynch's DUNE, and Ridley Scott's BLADE RUNNER.

There are many other films I saw as a boy-with-no-English, but these three were somehow very special in my head: there was something important happening on the screen in each one that I knew I had to revisit once I mastered the Queen's own vocab.

And I wasn't disappointed (even if you think DUNE is goofy). Is it their dream-like qualities? I mean they're all very visual films but the visuals DO NOT help you follow or decipher the story. I think it was the incredible confusion that had me coming back - why ARE these films so strange? They're not cops-and-robbers films, or soldier films or comedies... I knew that much.

I have no message or conclusion here, just an observation about how three amazing films - despite my utter lack of understanding of them - have managed to stay with me for life - and become my favourites - oh and how they did not disappoint once I did kapish.

You get what I'm saying?

Monday, September 4, 2017

Melbourne Kollage Ultra

So I/ we am starting a COLLAGE COLLECTIVE, a sort of "cool kids club" for collage makers and lovers. It'll be top shelf madness and life-changing and so on, and hey!, look a flyer:

If you're interested in any way shape or form, have questions etc:

facebook event:


Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Collaboration with Devin Townsend?


... is what I would screech Devin-style if the headline were true - but this is the Internet chums, so EVERYTHING is true.

More precisely - according to this website:
(click the link or just scope the screenshot below)

Exhibit A

Devin has written the lyrics to my song Flying to Patagonia!

Land of giant sloths!!!

And that would be one of the top ten things to ever happen to me- if it were true!

But it ain't!

I wrote them and they're a lot simpler than Heavy Devy's lyrics.

This man is not my lyricist.

The lyrics listed are from Devin's Bastard from Ocean Machine, a very fine album but bugger all to do with me.

Still, should anyone google Fat Little Bastard (my band - scope it [HERE]), it will now forever be linked with this lovely chap's name c/o some slacker Spaniards (Portugese? I donno.).
Makes me wanna say:


There is no insanity - only super-sanity

Sunday, August 27, 2017

International Collage Exhibition & Me

Some of my works are in the International Collage Exhibition & Exchange with some other fine folk in the Percy Thomson Gallery in Stratford, New Zealand. My picture Experiment #2 is featured in the online version at (I’m in Room 3).

Direct link: .

(Alas!, I’m listed as Xtian Xtian - when really I’m just a plain old Xtian.)

Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Three David Lynch-ian Moments in the Last Seven Days...

Here's three moments from the past week that would sit nicely in a GOOD David Lynch film - these are all true events.

Day 1.
It was a very windy day, I had to lean into it as it was almost blowing me over. I was on King St, up near the strip joints. As I look up, I see a bright red parka flying above the trees, arms spread, hood extended - looked like an invisible man flying backwards through the air. By the time I got my phone out - it landed in someone's balcony.

Day 2.
As I reach the 4th floor at work, the door opens and there's a young woman.
She looks at me. I wait for her to step aside so I can get out of the lift.
She looks me in the eyes and then she yells out: "This is the fourth floor!"
I say: "Yes. It is."
She just stands there.
So I walk around her, she jumps into the lift and that was that.
I was hoping to bump into her later in the day and ask what floor we were on, but...

Day 3.
An elderly gentleman gets on the tram and sits in front of me. Nice shoes, blue pants, blue blazer, nice shirt with very large cuff-links, hair all slicked back, brown case in lap.
He eventually pulls out a phone and starts talking. I only caught snippets, but -
"... we got some nice shots of the lady with her legs apart, yes... [mumble-mumble]... we got a very nice one with the husband on top... [mumble-mumble]... yes, they're very nice, very colourful, I'll send them to you, they're very colourful, very nice... [mumble-mumble]..."
   My first thought was - "Wow!, a private eye!", but then I thought "Maybe a pornographer?"
   I guess we'll never know - it was my stop.
   And as I get up to leave, I see the man on my right has a purple birthmark, covering half his face...

There are two more working days left of this week, so hopefully, hopefully...